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I am not this unlimited vessel of creativity I parade myself to be. This week I feel fucking empty. When I tried to come up with a blog topic over the last few days all I could think about was allowing myself to be brain dead for awhile.

I don’t know how other artists function or work, but for me personally there are times where I feel empty. There is no other way to describe the feeling, I am an empty fucking pitcher. Every ounce of my creativity has been drained by moving, sickness, editing, children, stress, and all the other small things going on in my life. I need some down time for my inspiration to be restored.

At times I’ve derived extra creativity from people, like a god damn artistic succubus. Which is not to say I’ve ‘stolen’ anything from anyone ever, but there are times where surrounding myself with like minded people inspires me, or I’ve fed off writing partners while working on pieces together. At the moment, I don’t have any of the outlet in this way I used to, so it feels a lot like I’m banging my head against the wall. 

It’s been a long six months, and unfortunately I have zero down time to look forward to. Next month is NaNo and after feeling like I’ve barely produced in a long time I need to get off my ass and write. The best part about nineteen hours in a car is I do some of my best thinking while doing mundane tasks. Driving frees up my mind to work over plot, much like a shower, or in the time right before I fall asleep. This time is worth it’s weight in gold.

I have three books I want to finish by the end of the year. (Don’t laugh at me) Getting a full 50,000 in for November is crucial for it. I may try and do double NaNo like I did last year, but I fear I don’t have it in me. First order of business when I get to Texas, find a good fucking Starbucks to kick my own ass in.

Who’s doing NaNo? Comment here or go find me and friend me. I’m J.R.Gray there. I shouldn’t be hard to find.

SayYes (1)

Song I can’t get enough of this week: Panic! At The Disco’s Emperor’s New Clothes

To do list for the week:

Try to write done.

Put together release posts for Lead Me Into Darkness

Finish packing odds and ends.

Pack the truck. The finish line is in sight.


Survive 19 hours in the car with two children. Wish me luck!

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