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Writing is hard. Writers do it because we love it. This isn’t a job you can do without loving it, just because of the sacrifice and the sheer number of hours writers put in. (That is unless you use a ghostwriter from fiver but that’s an entirely different story) Every single book I’ve written has been hard in a different way. Some books I’ve written extremely fast. I wrote the first draft of Speak No Evil in 28 days. It was 95,000 words, whereas the rewritten copy is not 73,0

I try to never comment on the drama that goes on in the genre. It’s not that I don’t have opinions. I have lots of opinions and I’m an asshole, so those opinions don’t always come out nice, so I try and keep my mouth shut on social media. When I do blog about issues I rewrite them so many times I tend to work out all the asshole-ishness. It’s a much better venue for me to vent on than say tweeting a ton of curse words to equate my feelings. That said, book pirating has been a

I can’t tie my shoes. No fucking shit, I am being 100% serious right now. I am partially dyslexic. I don’t talk about it. I don’t bring it up. In fact, as a kid, I learned it was something to be ashamed of. People will look at you differently. People will judge you, so you keep this thing to yourself. My mother told me if I got ‘help’ for it it would be on my permanent record and it would affect me later in life. No lie. I kept this secret buried inside me and I struggled. I

Life changes us. Our experiences change us. Maybe it’s just because of the way I was raised, but I learn things about myself all the time. It might be because I repressed those things while just trying to survive or maybe because I never had the opportunity to learn them like someone who grows up in an accepting household, or maybe I wasn’t ready to discover them yet, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t real and valid feelings. And I am just one example. I just can’t get over t

I want better for myself. I think we all do. I want to hold myself to a higher standard. I have been torn for weeks finishing up this YA book I’m writing. I’ve never been happy with a YA I’ve finished before. This one is queer. It has a trans main character and a bisexual main character. I put a lot of my own experiences into this book, but I love it. I’ve thought really hard about self-publishing it. Self-publishing is what I’m used to. I am good at self-publishing. I have a

Maybe we have the idea of mental health all wrong. I’ve been thinking a lot about mental health recently. I read a powerful twitter thread, I can’t remember who wrote it, about how hard it is to reach out when people are at their lowest. It stuck with me, and I’ve been thinking about it for days. Maybe instead of constantly telling people, we are there for them, we should talk about mental health more, tell our friends and loved ones they aren’t alone and tell them why. We ne

Holidays are hard. Anyone who doesn’t agree with me might not have lived or loved as hard. Or maybe I was just dealt a different hand from life. The first two funerals I went to were those of my sister and father barely five months apart. There are so many of us who have lost someone either to death or because they don’t fit in our lives anymore, and spending the holidays without them is like an open wound. My sister lost her battle with depression at sixteen. This is my 15th

I like to grand plan. I like to do it a lot more while I’m out in the majestic landscapes with little to no cell service. I like to think I could work hard and put out so many more books a year. I do already work hard, but I want to push myself to do more, get up earlier, fit more in a day. I always feel like I’m not doing enough. Not working hard enough. That if I just do a little more I will be able to support myself writing. I put all of this on my shoulders and it makes m

I hate being misgendered. I’m not sure if all trans people feel this way, but for me it’s like being completely dismissed and people don’t see me. They see social norms, or hear my voice and no matter how hard I fight to be gendered correctly it’s a failure. I live in Texas and I get misgendered all day every day. I am not exaggerating. It’s not once in a while. And if I’m not being misgendered I’m being told I’m in the wrong bathroom no matter which one I use. If I, or other

Friendship is fucking weird. First off, it’s like saying I choose you to another random human. And it’s not about fucking or procreation which is normal for mammals. It’s about spending time, which in humans is just as important as carnal relationships. For a long time now I’ve met most of my friends online. For a variety of reasons, I’m sure a lot of people can relate. It’s easier to find people who get you when you’re queer this way. I used to spend a ton of time writing on

We writers work our asses off. I know some of us don’t go into an office, or work nine to five. We sit on our phones and no, we aren’t just looking at facebook, we’re writing extensive notes because if we let it go another minute we’re going to lose it. All those times we’re staring off into space we’re working our way though the plot issue we haven’t been able to figure out yet. We’re working while we lay in bed and can’t sleep. We’re working at nearly every event we go to.

My first reaction to my partner asking me what he should tell them was, “I’m genderqueer,” there shouldn’t be a need for more. If people are curious there is this wonderful thing called the internet and they can do research. There it was, put out there. Gray is genderqueer now, like it was some overnight revelation. The phrasing irritated me. I’ve called myself genderqueer for about four years now. Before that point I didn’t have a word for myself. It’s not a secret I write q

Misgendering is an issue most cis people never have to deal with, so it’s downplayed. It shouldn’t be regardless of how hard it may be for some to understand. Misgendering is a shitty thing to do. I’m going to say it again. It’s horribly shitty. The definition of misgendering for those who may have never heard of the term, taken from the oxford dictionary is: referring to (someone, especially a transgender person) using a word, especially a pronoun or form of address, that do